I could write volumes on the number of bad-slash-inappropriate-slash-downright-startling gifts that I've received over the years. The case of beer from a (very short-term) boyfriend one not so memorable Valentine's Day. The denim overalls - way too big for me, which was irrelevant, because I was never, EVER going to where them anyway - from my mother one birthday. The completely unsexy full-body footy pajamas from my husband that Christmas that his mother stayed with us. The hairnet he shoved in my stocking that same year.
All of those gifts? Trashed. (Except the beer. I drank that.) Well, the hairnet got trashed. The overalls and the pajamas went to Goodwill, I think, in some giant bags filled with other assorted undesirable miscellany. But they might have gone to the landfill, or into the atmosphere to destroy the ozone, had I been upset enough to dramatically throw them in the trash or burn them.
It's for this reason that I consider it to be a public and environmental service that any and all persons purchasing gifts for women like myself give due care and consideration to both the desirability of the gift and the eco-friendliness of the gift - to reduce the chances that the gift will be turfed, and to reduce the impact of the gift upon the environment if it is turfed.
To assist in that service in advance of Mother's Day - and in honor of Earth Week - I have compiled a short list of gifts that are likely to meet that criteria of 'due care and consideration' (I'M TALKING TO YOU, HUSBAND-MAN. READ CAREFULLY):
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